Not a shipwreck this time but a train crash in my head. Oh i long for going down with violins played to sunken dreams. Instead a brutal brick wall of scars from myself invades my path and screams. The helpless the needy, the depressed on my mind. The angry the hurting, the four letter kind.
L O V E
I've never felt it. Well maybe once. But rejection took its place. The front runner in the race for my heart. A heart that cries out to a world that sees only a broken soul wearing skinny jeans. Won't someone help me carry this. Anyone?
I didn't think so. They have all gone. Left me alone in this forest of loneliness. Ready for my soul to be eaten by creatures of bad thoughts and rotten hearts and beanie hats and tshirts of bands I wish i never would have loved.
What's going on in me? I was a boy with big dreams. Forced down a path that was not of my making. Let me open the boxes. All the boxes. All of them. One must say happiness, surely? With my name on it, with a wife and kids and a sign saying 'judged no more'. I can't find it. Oh there it is. Locked and chained and bandaged by pain and suffering.
If I change my hair will you let me in?
If I change my skin will you let me in?
If I have no point of view will you adore me then?
If I become who I am not will you love me then. Will you love me then?
Will you love me. If I take away my self. Will happiness come to me. Will heavens gates swing open? For a son misunderstood. My coffin holds no feeling. My tears will not cry. My heart will not be moved. My face will never smile. My blood will not get warm.
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